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Well laying in bed last night, I realized that if there is anything in this life that my kids and I need is beds. We have two mattress from sofa beds for my two oldest and they have ruined my bed because it is more comfortable and they join me in the night. The smell is so gross i use baking soda and vinegar up to 4 times a month with no avail. One son has a good brand new bed because he just wont sleep in his bed at all. We also need a washer as ours broke and we do not have a car to go to the laundry mat. Well we have it... It needs a new head gasket in the engine...And before anyone thinks to say there is other ways... yup we have walked there with a baby stroller holding the laundry and it falling all over the ground and we have also had to waste 15 dollars on using a taxi. I don't ask for much usually will bust my butt to do for myself but I'm reaching feeling trapped. (oh we also lived threw bed bugs in an apartment in mass that is the reason we moved from there so you can imagine how awful it is for me to ask for help we have been to hell and back again. Imagine having a baby 3wks old and you see this nasty bug crawling up their bassinet which is one reason my kids come in to my room is the nightmares that they relive from that experience)

Not sure what I need other then everything.

We just moved miles away to get a new start and we have that but since moving here we have run out of oil twice. Our car went up in smoke. We pay our rent to keep our apartment before everything else so our heads are always protected. I suffer depression already but it is hard having people that want you to fix everything you cant. We only answer our phone when it is someone we know. I got my credit back on track then someone stole my wallet a week before we moved here and now it is in toilet again. When will the world stop dumping on us?

My sons father is upset he cant see his son more but we are on the bus line it stops almost at our door.
My son cries to see his dad and then when his dad calls he yells at us that we need to move back..that wont fix the issues. Then we will be homeless as we couldn't find an apartment there. Not to mention we dont have the down payment on an apartment if we cant fix the engine of the car.

We also have severe hoarding issues appearing in my two older children. I try to keep up with it as i was a extreme hoarder three years ago but it is hard for me to even look at it as then i just want to cry. once a week I go and clean it out...